Yes, I am tired. I truly cannot remember a time that I have ever been as tired as I am right now. Physically, emotionally, and even spiritually, I feel exhausted. I know that this can be a dangerous confession for a pastor, but as I sit in yet another hospital waiting room waiting to pray with a friend before his biopsy, I felt the need to share this with the four or five of you that will actually read this.
There are multiple reasons for this extreme malaise that I find myself in: it’s Christmas, too much of the wrong foods, not enough of the right foods, little exercise, too many late nights, and too much going on. Because it’s Christmas! A time that should be about quiet reflection as well as joyful celebration has become an exhaustive marathon of going and doing. Shame on me! I know better! That explains the physical exhaustion, and in some part, it begins to explain the other as well. Our physical condition always affects our emotional and spiritual stamina, too. Add to that the many demands placed on a pastor that seem to skyrocket this time of year, and we enter what can only be described as a danger zone. It’s dangerous because with this exhaustion comes mistakes. Judgment can be skewed. Poor decisions can be made. Wrong words can be said. Yes, pastors are people, too, and even though we are taught to hide these things from our parishioners, we sometimes just don’t have the strength. Like now! So I have chosen to give you this glimpse behind the curtain of my life in hopes that you will do the Christian thing and pray for me.
Some of you will no doubt want to give me some advice like how I need to take some time off. I am! Right now, as I sit in this waiting room, I am on vacation, but my calling calls! When my people are in need, I respond. But don’t worry! God and I have been talking about this exhaustion, and here is what He told me just this morning:
“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the LORD, The Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, And the young men shall utterly fall, But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.”
Isaiah 40:28-31 NKJV
I think I will be okay! No, I know I will.